~:[CH9 - Day 91]:~ Ahead

~:[CH9 - Day 91]:~ Ahead

Many of us feel this darkness. It's a difficult time. As while life goes on, it's not the same. The truth is, it will never be the same. Life will be forever changed, but it's our choice as to what the change looks like. We stand in the darkness, for some of us alone, however, it doesn't mean that we are lost. We can make it through these difficult times and the light for us is ahead. Many of us have done our deed and have been locked away for three weeks or more. For that, many people are grateful and may have been saved. I know that it may have taken a toll on your job, your financial stability, your health, your relationships and most importantly on you, but remember, that you are strong and you will find a way to pick yourself up and march ahead. You will take that change and make it your own. Where there is darkness, there is also light and once you see that light, it will shine greater than it has ever before. At times I felt tired, I felt lost, but I also knew that it would not last forever and that we will make it through. Keep the faith and know that we can, scratch that, we will win this. <3 p="">

~:[CH9 - Day 90]:~ The Ultimate Chopped

~:[CH9 - Day 90]:~ The Ultimate Chopped

I was waiting on my sauce to arrive, so I couldn't make what I had planned for today. Instead, I resorted to my own version of Chopped. I saw posts about this early on when everyone had trouble getting food. It's been easier to get what you need since people aren't hoarding, but when you don't have what you need, then you're not as willing to go out and wait in a line to get in the store. I decided to pop my head into the fridge and figure out what I had. I walked to the backyard knowing we had a lemon tree, found some pasta and some leftover cut veggies from a few days ago. I ended up making lemon chicken with fusilli. I used flour to do the initial fry of the chicken then did a second fry with panko, which also served as the sauce for the pasta after I added white wine to help cook off the browned chicken and onions from the pan. In the end, It actually ended up tasting okay with just a bit of spicy with red pepper flakes. I always think of this experience as how we view our lives. Some of us will give up thinking, there's nothing to make. Whereas in reality, what we need to succeed is right in front of us, if we have the imagination and creativity to piece it all together to create a masterpiece. As while we are so used to having all these tools and resources at our disposal. I think this quarantine will help us realize that WE are one of the biggest resources and tools that will help us find success. Like I've discovered in a lot of my evaluation meetings with my students, all we need is a bit of confidence in ourselves and we may find that we are much more talented than we may have imagined. Explored what you're capable of. In the process you might have some failures and setbacks, but that's part of the process on the path towards success. 

~:[CH9 - Day 89]:~ Just a Bit of Time

~:[CH9 - Day 89]:~ Just a Bit of Time

I often felt bad because I wasn't always around the house. I normally spent half the day at work and came to prepare for the next day or wrap up from the day's work. On the days I wasn't, I was working on another project or out the door somewhere. As bad as this quarantine has been, it's given me time to take care of some things that I may have let slip through the cracks, which included doing things around the house with my parents. Even something as simple as changing a battery was a worthwhile experience and will be a memory that will be stored in my mind. Despite the fact that it is only a fraction of the hours that are stored there, it will hold special value and will be a priceless treasure for a lifetime. As we struggle with the hours, the days and the weeks we're asked to stay inside, we must realize that we are not losing time, but gaining it. Gaining seconds, minutes, hours ... then days, weeks and months that we can spend with loved ones whether physically or virtually. It is time that we can gain to work on ourselves and to work on things we need just a bit of time to finish up. I feel like I have been repeating myself time after time these past two weeks, but in all honestly, there is a reason, because I am coming to the same realization every time. Today's Word talked about how we must find patience within our lives. As while we may not like what is going on in our lives or the answers we receive, there are better days ahead. As while the world is ravaged with a world of negativity and we become impatient, we must remind ourselves that we have not been abandoned, but are being tested. We must be patient. However, while I see that patience will get us through this, I also think that seeing value in the time we have will help make this time no longer be wasted and our wait to be much more painless. Much like Habakkuk learned about the importance of waiting, we too must wait and face the struggles that wait before us, but instead of lamenting about over what is wrong, let's celebrate on what we have been given. As while our faith will carry us through this troubling time, it is also in our faith that we will find that this is time that is not wasted. Soon enough, the batteries were exchanged and we put the clock back up on the wall. As while for a moment everything stopped momentarily, it wasn't long before the movements began working again and everything started moving forward again. Our time to get back on pace is coming soon, but in the meantime let's not stand still, but use just a bit of this time that we have and make into moments we can treasure.

~:[CH9 - Day 88]:~ Stay at Home

~:[CH9 - Day 88]:~ Stay at Home

Some people have quite enjoyed this time at home. I have my students journal and they enjoy the opportunity to relax and stay at home. They are experiencing the challenges of staying on top of their work, but overall, they are getting their work done. However, others have struggled noticing the smaller things they took for granted that they can no longer do. I think that despite how difficult this time has been, we all have learned a lot through this process. It actually has only been about two weeks since we've been locked in, but in the process, I've learned how to do things, been able to reconnect with people I haven't seen in awhile, find old memories, but still haven't done as much cleaning as I should have. Of course, all those things I didn't have time for before, I'm starting to chip away at them now. As while there have been so many sacrifices that we have made, I hope that we will find some good out of all of this. Most everyone I know has been staying at home or a number of people close to me are out there working the front lines, but I wrote this poem in response to another one I saw and thought it could be my post for today. As while we may not seem like we're doing much and get that "lazy" feeling, honestly, it's the thing that we can do the most to do our part. While we are going to have to go out to get some food from time to time, let's find things to do, productive or unproductive and keep everyone around us safe. I have loved the creative ways that people have done so and hope that we all can find joy in this time of difficulties and in some cases despair. Life will one day go on, but for now, let's enjoy those things we could not before and in the process,  doing what is being asked of us. 

~:[CH9 - Day 87]:~ Nostalgic

~:[CH9 - Day 87]:~ Nostalgic

Simple, but sweet. It's often a phrase you think about when you have something that is so basic, but somehow has a value far greater than it should have. As I made lunch, I made a meal that reminded me of the old days where I would order ramen with a side of gyoza and chahan (fried rice). I would be a monstrous meal, but somehow, it went down so easily. On the mornings my mother would make breakfast with the chahan, we would excitedly run to the table and see the mountain of rice shaped like a bowl. It is how I grew to know the dish and how I continue to make it today. Both my parents like to cook and I grew up watching and helping them in the kitchen. It's no wonder that I love to work in kitchen when time permits and how I became a foodie. However, even more than the dishitself, I get a sense of nostalgia when I am eating it, as I recall my childhood and then reach further as I want to go back and flip through old albums. This has been a time where the time to do such things would be impossible, but with nothing but time on my hands, it was been something that has allowed me to refresh my memories to recall these moments of the past. As while we are locked away, it's an opportunity to unlock the many things we stored away in our memories both good and bad. As I hold those old photos in my hands, the photograph has a feel to it that adds to the story that only it can tell. These may be the toughest days we face in our lives, restricted from our normal lives and facing obstacles we may never face again, but maybe the memories we hold of our past can be the key to unloading some of the stress and sadness surrounding our current times. As while our current lives may be come to a screeching halt, it is but just a fraction of the life that we've already lived. As I took my final bites into my lunch, the memories of days gone by continued to flow and it was in something so basic that made this day so wonderfully nostalgic. 

~:[CH9 - Day 86]:~ ???

~:[CH9 - Day 86]:~ ???

Sometimes you just wonder how to describe a day. Today was one of those. It showed me the joys of life, but also the worst in people. My mom came home upset after she headed to Costco. She waited in line to grab the essential goods and grabbed some other items. She briefly stepped away from  her cart to grab some bread, a lady goes to her cart, grabs the pack of toilet paper and runs away. Sadly, the toilet paper wasn't even on the top, as she just let things topple over so that she could get what she needed. For the most part, my experiences during this fiasco have been good aside from all the articles and briefings online, from the pleasant workers at restaurants and stores to treasured encounters with people saying a quick hello, however, I was disappointed to hear that someone would sink this low just to get what they needed. In all honestly, we weren't desperate for toilet paper (I'll even use leaves if necessary), as my super roll has been quite the savior, but it just makes me wonder about people. In the end, my day got better. I strayed away from social distancing a bit, as this guy would not stay six feet away from me and I got to soak in some Vitamin D, laying in my front yard. I closed the evening by reading an article from Italy, where a priest in Italy gave up his ventilator to a younger patient. As I have ??? left from the day, I am reminded at how our actions impact others. how they, along with our words, can raise people up or crush them. We are all fragile in this precious time, so instead of being the one stepping over each other to get what we need, maybe we can be the glue to share with each other and keep this fragile state in which we live together. I think one of the reasons I haven't experienced so much of the negative is because I am blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people, but even still, let's all do our part to build rather than destroy, lift up rather than step on, and to share rather than to hoard. Let's do what each of us needs to do and appreciate the efforts of others, even if it isn't up to our expectations. These are not normal times, thus we must understand that it will be an adjustment for us all. And to the lady who took the toilet paper from my mother, I could curse you and still am left with ??? as to why you would do that, but just know I hope it was worth the discouragement you passed on to someone, leaving them with less, so you could have more. We are better than this and I know that we will show everyone that we are. Treat others with respect, listen to what we are told we should do so instead of being left with ??? at the end of the day, we are left with the answers that will solve this crisis so normalcy (or something close to it) can return once again.

~:[CH9 - Day 85]:~ Time is Precious

~:[CH9 - Day 85]:~ Time is Precious

For those who are struggling without social interaction and your daily routine, I hope that you can find peace in something at home. Although I am someone who can handle this isolation pretty well, I also find that I need to keep myself occupied in order to avoid the reality that I am inside all day. However, as I thought about it, I am lucky to have that time at all. For some that final second or the final second for a loved one will come all too soon. As while it may be a mental challenge to be locked inside, at least we have seconds, minutes, hours, days and more ahead of us. It's a time we can use to catch up on all we didn't do, to stay focused on what we still need to do, to reach out to those who need our help or who we lean on when we are in need. More than ever, we realize how time is precious, as while we may feel like we have too much time, let's be grateful for the time we have. As I figured out ways to keep myself busy after I finished my online teaching for the day, I decided to do a photo shoot capturing just that, time. I encourage you all to do the same and find something to keep your heart and your mind active and instead of moping around, appreciate that you have this time at all. Who knows how long this will last going forward, but I think after this is all over, I think we will have a better perspective on just how precious time is. As always, stay safe and stay healthy.

~:[CH9 - Day 84]:~ For All We Took for Granted

~:[CH9 - Day 84]:~ For All We Took for Granted

The best thing about this quarantine has been the fact that I've been able to cook meals regularly at home. I never had time to do so, as I came through the door pretty late most days. However, as I turned the heat down and finished up, I thought of all the things we have taken for granted before this. Simply the freedom to move is probably first and foremost, as we always have to think twice about even driving down the block. Today was the first day I traveled more than a mile outside the radius of my house and it was to pick up lunch from a friend's shop. There's been a push to support small businesses, do I decided to do my part. It was nice to visit even if was just for the time we waited for the food. There were no handshakes or hugs, but simple gestures and nods. It's been weird because the few times I've gone to my car, is as if I am avoiding something from attacking me in those horror movies. There's the anxiety that I am going to get blindsided so I put my head down and get to the car. I've also missed the physical classroom the ability to go from place to place, the enjoyment of shooting photos outdoors or eating at a restaurant, even grocery shopping is something I miss, as I feel in a rush and don't feel the comfort in browsing or looking around. My students complained about the challenges of online learning and they missed being among their friends. Simply being outdoors and soaking in the sun is something I definitely miss, as it was the first time in over 50 hours that I stepped foot outdoors. Of course despite all that we miss, it was also a time to rediscover the joy of cooking, the passion for poetry, the memories of old photos, reconnecting with friends I haven't talk to in awhile and even doing some planning I put aside for later. Who knows what the days ahead will hold, but the appreciation of so many things will be the greatest thing we gain out of this whole ordeal. At moments, it's nice to feel rested, but at other moments, it's miserable to feel trapped inside. There's so much I realized I wanted to do and my only hope is that the day to do them will come very soon. As the pan continued to sizzle and I plated my dish, I opened up the fridge and saw some freshly purchases sashimi. It's been ages since that was the case, but the joy of eating it is something I will not take for granted moving forward. They'll be plenty of time for us to reflect on our lives and to figure out what we do going forward, but instead of fearing all that is head, let's look towards the joys that will come when we move forward with a greater appreciation for all we took for granted.

~:[CH9 - Day 83]:~ Celebrate

~:[CH9 - Day 83]:~ Celebrate

Where does all the time go? It's amazing that so much time has passed since this picture, but also since we first met. After sending a birthday wish, I went to go look at an old photos from when we in high school. It's actually amazing how little has changed in our appearances over time and the same goes for our friendship. We are struggling through tough times and I think about all the good, but also tough times, we went through over the years. Sometimes there are those people who just happen to be at the right place when you need them and I am grateful for having friends like these. We all need people like this around us in a time like this. Everyone is impacted by this virus and none of us are exempt. No matter our status in society, we all can reach out to a close friend or family member and make sure that they are okay. It's a difficult time, but it can also be a time to celebrate that we have good family and friends around us. Thank you to you all for your love and support in these difficult times. Know that I am also am here for you if you need anything! <3 p="">

~:[CH9 - Day 82]:~ The Long Dreaded Weekend

~:[CH9 - Day 82]:~ The Long Dreaded Weekend

I normally loved Sundays. After a long week which normally went six days a week, I would have a day to tie up loose ends and get work done. Yes, it was that kind of day again, but it was sad because it came after a week that FELT somewhat unproductive. I actually did a lot of work this week, but wit the feeling of being home, I felt as if I didn't work as hard as I could have just because I never left the house. Looking back though, I've spent about twice as long grading and prepping as I did when I was in the classroom. Today, I spent most of the day assembling my lecture. I couldn't just do a so-so job on it. Are they going to watch it? Maybe not, however, at least I can put in the effort to do a good job in hopes that they will follow along. It's hard to focus especially when you are not motivated and there are little rewards as it outings that you can give yourself, however, if the people around you are doing good work, you'll also want to do good work as well! After hours of piecing together the lecture, I still didn't finish, but I also haven't felt so good about a lesson as I have with this one. It may not have the best information, but I put a lot of effort into it and thus, I can be proud of it. Of course productive days begin with a productive start. I woke up and caught the sermon for Citizens LA. A schoolmate of mine is the pastor at the church and I always wanted to check it out. It was a great service and reminded me that in these tough times, it's okay to get mad and frustrated, but we also have trust and faith. We may wait for an answer, but it may not always come to us. In the end, we must have the strength to move forward and know that while we may not have received the answer we are looking for, we are able to keep moving forward and so I did. I had a productive day which included a cooking fest for my family and a productive planning meeting online for the next music video project. Who knows how long we will be locked in for, but at least if we can stay focused, we can make good use of this time that we have. Even if you lose your way from time to time, never lose faith. I dreaded this weekend, but I also learned a lot in the process.

~:[CH9 - Day 81]:~ A Letter to Those in Fear

~:[CH9 - Day 81]:~ A Letter to Those in Fear

On Friday, NBC News' Peter Alexander asked "What do you say to Americans who are scared? There'll be 200 dead, 14,000 who are sick, millions - as you witnessed - who are scared right now. What do you say to Americans watching you right now who are scared?" This question made its rounds in my mind, as I began to think about the answers the leader of a country should say to that answer in a time of crisis. The opportunity arose, but we didn't get the answer than many Americans needed. A lot of the state and local leaders have stepped up and made decisions, but even so, while they have made sound decisions, I haven't heard anyone step up to make the speech that the people need to hear. However, I also wondered, why do we need someone above us to give us those words? John Quincy Adams once said that "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." Who are the ones who can be leaders in this time of crisis? We can be. Lincoln once said, "Whatever you are , be a good one." Today, more than ever, we need everyone to be that good one and we're seeing it. On the front lines, the doctors and nurses have stepped up, the grocers have taken their stance to ensure there is enough food for us all, the factory workers have stepped up their efforts to catch up in production and people everyone have made sacrifices to try and help solve this problem. Teddy Roosevelt said, "do what you can, with what you have, where you are" and that is exactly how we solve this and face this. If I had that question asked of me, I would say:

We are facing a crisis that we know not a lot about and that in itself may bring fear. There is no telling when we will find a cure for this crisis or when we will know everything we need to know to combat it, but the people of this nation are all fabulous. Each of us has a role in this process and if we do that, we'll find ourselves not only in a better state, but also winning this battle we face. "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are,"  nothing less and nothing more. We don't need a superhero, we only need ourselves and each other. The doctors and nurses in the hospitals, the police helping to maintain order, the merchants helping provide what is needed and the factories producing what we need. At home, the teachers can keep teaching while families and friends can support one another to help lift each other up in these difficult times. We all must do our part and we can, because we are fabulous. While some wait for those above us to make decisions, "change will not come if we wait for some other person or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the changes that we seek." (Obama) We are the ones who are the leaders who can step up in our households, in our neighborhoods and in our communities in order to help those around is in need and to turn the tide on this virus. For some, it's as simple as stay at home and make sure we only purchase as much as we need and for others, it may be a tireless battle on the front line, but we know that you can do this. Individually, whether we know it our not, we've all been prepared for the role that we have today. For the artists who inspires us in our time of need, the musician who creates the inspirational song we need, to the teacher who provides that encouraging word, or a parent who may feel helpless, but does their best to maintain order in the household. To the youth, try to focus in as much as possible by studying and helping around the house and focus on what you have, rather than what you've lost. It's a scary time indeed, but I can ensure you, that we are all we need to fight this crisis. We can generate ideas and create solutions, we can produce what we need, we can collaborate with those around the globe who have the answers we don't, and we have the scientists hard at work at trying to find a cure. We have the psychologists who can provide support to those who need it and the care takers from ensuring our elderly populations are taken care of. Instead of focusing on our differences in race or gender, democrat or republic, gay or straight, rich or poor, let's figure out what our role is, because we each are equally important. As while we must speak up when we see injustice, we must also not allow that to cloud what our goals must be. There is no room for hate or mistrust, as this is not a "Chinese" virus, this is a global pandemic that we must address together. Borders have closed around the word, but this virus know no borders and it does not discriminate, thus we cannot put ourselves at a disadvantage by being divisive. There is no room for pride, there is no room for rank, and this not not a contest. Harry S. Truman said, "It's amazing what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit." I believe all of us can agree, we just want to see this madness disappear. Instead of looking up, let's look around, as we have the tools we need to defeat this within our own hands. Let's not be fearless, but let's also not be fearful. As while none of us are invincible, at the same time none of us are helpless. Unfortunately, there will be difficult times, there will be sadness as we lose some who are close to us, but also know that we will face more victories than loses and that the challenges we face now, will help provide us with opportunities in the future. These difficult times will teach us and help us grow and while we never want to have to face these times, these are the moments were ALL of us can shine. Why? Because no matter how "famous" or "important" you are, we can all be just as fabulous as the next. Let's not hold back. Let's all do our part. As while we are facing scary times, however, if we work together and all do our part well, that fear will slowly fade away. I think there is no quote greater fitting for this moment than from our first president, George Washington when he said, "The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph."

I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was able to get outside the house for the first time in a few days or if it was the fact that I got everything I needed from the markets, it could have been the interaction with a friend, or even just inspirational chatter on social media, but for some reason I had a smile on my face. I think maybe it was hope that we can do this. I thought of all the fabulous people around me from my friends and family, to my colleagues and students, alumni, and even those I run into around town or see in the spotlight. They inspire me to be greater and to work even harder when we face tough times like this. As while I know it's going to be a daily struggle and our lives have been so dramatically shifted as we have sacrificed so much because of this all, I look forward to standing as we reach this "finish line" having worked together to defeat this together. We don't need someone to tell us what to do, as we are smart enough, skilled enough, and creative enough to be and find the solutions we need. Stay self and stay healthy. I love you all.

~:[CH9 - Day 80]:~ A Foreign Place

~:[CH9 - Day 80]:~ A Foreign Place

I am not a homebody. I go to work at about seven and come back at about the same time unless I go out. On weekends I have meets or conferences and if I am free, I'm on the road somewhere if not for work, then taking photos or exploring. When I'm home, I am normally working or sleeping with a drama in between. Thus, the past week has been quite strange. From Monday to Friday, I left the house for a total of eight hours and almost all of those hours were at work. It also includes the time that I spent outdoors. As strange of a transition as this has been, I've coped well being in this foreign place. I've realized how often I am not here, even though I knew that already. One of the things that has kept my mind occupied is organizing my files and in the process, recalling memories. One of my drives went down with about two years worth of data. For me, that is over 200,000 photos since it was an older set, but it doesn't mean it's any less precious. It's been a great opportunity to recover memories, not just physically but also to reconnect with the emotions connected to all these moments of the past. From old pictures to past YouTube videos, I keep digging into the past, but now am more hopeful for the future as I look to reconnect but also be able to appreciate all the moments I get to create. I hope to meet new people, establish new relationships and go on new adventures even if they are within the confines of my own home. This time can be a bummer, but as I've said many times before, it's an opportunity. Sitting in this place for so long still feels a little foreign to me, but even so, I might as well make use of all this time and look forward to all the changes I can make moving forward which starts by find familiarity with this foreign place.

~:[CH9 - Day 79]:~ It's Reality

~:[CH9 - Day 79]:~ It's Reality

Living in a place where movies are made, we've always heard of these outbreaks that can shut down society. In a world that never really stops, it's amazing to see how much impact this virus has had. It's weird to try to brave the streets and also strange to not even think about leaving the house. I was lucky enough to get the supplies I needed on Wednesday to last at least a week with normal food aside from the food that I could eat if we were locked in longer. I even was able to stockpile different drinks to ease the distress of it all. It's not going to be comfortable, but this could be our reality for a little while longer. Of course the sooner we do this and the more people cooperate, the faster this problem will disappear. Regardless, in this time of chaos, I've found solace in the fact that I have time to cook for my family, have the opportunity to still see my classes even though it's through a screen, and even have time to get on some interests I put behind me since I had no time, as I wrote a few poems that brought me back to the days that these poems would be pumped out daily. Today we were officially ordered to stay in place. We can go out to get food and supplies, but for the most part, we should stay inside. It's been about 36 hours since I stepped foot outside, but strangely, I am okay with it. I guess introverts would adapt better to this, but also it helps that I have a lot of interests that require me to work behind a computer screen or at home. However, although I don't enjoy vchatting or even talking in person, if you are struggling with all that is going on, let me know, because I want to help. I hope this current state can ride into the sunset so we can face our new realities in a more regular type setting, however, for now, I'll find a way to keep my mind off of what I am not doing, so I can focus in more on what I can be doing. We can do this, but don't forget that just like my pot of sauce, it takes all of us to make this right. Again, I wish and pray for all your health and happiness and thank you for all that you do, from those on the front lines in the medical field or the markets to those who make the wise decision to shelter-in-place. Just like all the other challenges we have faced in our lives, we can beat this. Together we can.

~:[CH9 - Day 78]:~ We Can "Bear" This

~:[CH9 - Day 78]:~ We Can "Bear" This

I restarted journal entries from my class and read a few blogs an IG posts. Some talked about the opportunity to rest and feel relaxed, while many talked about the inability to interact with others and the challenges that come with being "locked in." For those who are in industries where you can't work at home, this stretch will be a burden. For the extroverts, that lack of interaction will be a challenge and even for those who are like me and more introverted, will face the same challenge. Of course, while it may seem like we would have a lot of times on our hands, I still had a decent amount to do, but didn't forget to leave time for myself. From laundry to my online office hours and individual meetings, I worked through the day. I tried to grade papers online and tried to figure it all out, but the transition was not easy, especially when we found out Friday after school that we would in fact be online. I didn't even get to talk directly to my classes before we took this "break" from in person lessons. For all of us, this is a transition and for all of us, this new reality will require us to change. As while the challenges of these times will be great as the darkness descends on us all, I have faith that we will all grow stronger because of this. However, WE must work together as a community in order to do so. As I braved the outdoor world to pick up food and other essentials, I felt as if I was in a movie hoping we could scrap up what we needed to last for the next week or so. As while the madness of the news struck fear in me, I was hopeful because the lines were not that bad and I found all I needed. To find an outlet and to help others find theirs, I joined a friend to shop, I opened a chat room for my cross country team to talk, I played a bit with my food and designed a beary nice meal, and even went back to my poet days and wrote a poem. (https://www.instagram.com/p/B9494U_Fj2l/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link) We are bound to be worried, we may find ourselves stressed, and the future may seem uncertain, but we don't have to let that stop us from living and from getting us down. We have to be smart in our choices the next few weeks, months and beyond, however, we are resilient and standing next to one another (six feet apart of course), we will rise above this all. Check in on your friends and lend them your ear and find some time to laugh and catch up on the little things you've missed along the way. We are such busy bodies that sometimes we forget the small things that matter most and now's that time to discover them all. Sadly, there will be so many things we missed in this stretch of time and so much that will be lost, sadly including lives, but we must stay strong and take this challenge and make it into an opportunity to show that together, we can "bear" this. To all my friends, I will lend you my hand when you need it in hopes that I can be a part of the light that helps guide us all out of this darkness. To all those who are exhausted, to all those who are bored, to all those who have felt the loss and to all those who are depressed, let's stand together so we can help each other catch a break, can bring some life back into our lives, can fill the void left by that loss and can bring a smile to brighten one's day. 

~:[CH9 - Day 77]:~ This is Not a Test

~:[CH9 - Day 77]:~ This is Not a Test

Just a day before, my IAs and I tested our chat room to see if it would work for tomorrow's office hours and evaluation meetings. It was quite a fun time to just get used to it and have a little bit of social interaction, as I normally see them two times per school day. However, it was behind a screen that we would talk and get ready for the next day. I got to see almost twenty of my students today as I began to roll out the online office hours and evaluations. All of my assignments for the week were already online so this was their chance to ask questions and move on from there. No, this was not a test, but our new reality. Distance learning they call it as we try our social distancing. It's a strange thing to get used to, but soon we will have to get used to it all. It was amazing how long the day felt when you work from home. I got so much done that now I don't know how long I'd be able to do this for before I run out of things to do. I normally feel like I am rushing to get things done, but today, I found time to lounge around a bit between working. Of course all didn't go as planned as my online grocery shopping was a fail, which means tomorrow I will be heading to a battle zone to get a few necessities for the week. No, this is not a test, but the zombie apocalypse we only see in movies. Eventually, we will need to go out to pick things up, but be smart about how often you do and also just be aware. It's not time to panic, but it's also not time to be too lax. Find a good balance so we can all find ourselves back to somewhat normal sooner, rather than later. The earlier we comply, the sooner this madness will all be over. Be safe and be healthy you all!

~:[CH9 - Day 76]:~ The Ghost Town of our Hearts

~:[CH9 - Day 76]:~ The Ghost Town of our Hearts

On Friday, there was a bit of celebration on the part of the students who realized they wouldn't be coming to school this week, however, little did they realize how important the setting of school actually is. It's a topic we discuss in MUN where children don't get the chance to learn and come to school. Of course, it wasn't a vacation, it was a quarantine with the same amount of work. The students get their work without the social interactions and the same goes for us. I actually love being alone. As an introvert, I love working late at night when no one is going to be messaging me or bothering me, but as much as that is me, I enjoy the part of the day that wears me out, the interaction with the students or even simply listen to them talk. I walked through the campus as I arrived early and it was a ghost town. No one was out and about and the rain fell gently on my umbrella and the drumming of the rain drops was the only noise I could hear. Mother nature expressed her sadness as she blessed us with the much needed water that February did not give us, however, there still was an emptiness as today we were left with a ghost town in our hearts. I am hopeful that people will stay home and that things will get better. I am hopeful that business will survive and things will get figured out. However, for the next two weeks, we must survive. The sun came out later on and I was amazed at how productive I could be when I had a normal amount of time to finish the work I had been given. I cleaned out and organized my files, logged in the rest of my grades, finished up the deposits, and even posted all my assignments online for the week. I chatted with friends, tested out my online communication tools for tomorrow's office hours and even worked on a project that is upcoming. I played with my nephew and even cooked up a "chopped" type meal with the leftovers in my fridge. With all the work that I could complete in a day, there was still that emptiness and while some may celebrate now, even the most introverted of us all will want to fill that void that is the ghost town in our hearts. It's a void I hope to fill, but filling it will have to wait, as there are bigger things than myself at this moment. As while some may say these restrictions are going too far, it's better to err on the side of caution than to risk this blowing up even more. The asymptomatic population (especially those in their 20s) are the most likely to pass this on and not even know it according to some new data and for that reasons, we should all proceed with caution out of respect for those who are more vulnerable. Let's not hysteria overtake us, but let's also be sure that we take the precautions that we should, as if we can make those sacrifices now, it will mean the sooner that our lives can begin to fill that void left within our hearts. My lessons are online for the week and they'll get the information that they would have if we had class this week, but I know that they'll miss the interaction we have, which helps learning the material so much easier than they realize. As much as a hindrance as this has been to our lives, maybe it was a Blessing to help us realize all the things we take for granted especially all those things we once thought we dreaded. 

~:[CH9 - Day 75]:~ Editing Our Way

~:[CH9 - Day 75]:~ Editing Our Way

I thought of something today, Maybe the way to cure our longing to go elsewhere is to edit our photos so we can put ourselves in places we want to be. We already live in a world where our edits are sometimes not reality, so why can't we use our creativity to make this dream into a reality or if you think this is ridiculous you can also look back at old photos and relive those memories. I plan to work through my terabytes of photos and work on editing some of them and playing around with them during some of my down time. I can relive the moments of the past and finally get around to editing some of those old memories which slowly fade in my mind. La Jolla Cove has always held a special place in my heart. I've gone here with a number of my friends and also taken my team here. The seals and sea lions create a smell you'll never forget, but as bad as it is, it makes you remember that place for a lifetime. If you ever visit, bring a good solid pair of shoes if you walk down the cliffs and you should try to work in some time to kayak into the caves (tour). Place it down on your summer to do list if you've never been. You can also take a nice walk down the boardwalk and even swing with an ocean view if you find the swing. 

~:[CH9 - Day 74]:~ Stocking Up

~:[CH9 - Day 74]:~ Stocking Up

It felt weird. How long did that day feel? Normally I am at a meeting, taking care of some type of business or the like, but today, I was at home, shopping for groceries on my phone and lounging around. I thought about what I needed to do, but instead of doing them, I just sat. the next two weeks will be filled with work behind this very screen, so why don't I just take today off. My family is always stocked up, but it didn't stop my dad from stocking up himself after an unsuccessful run at Trader Joe's. He picked up a stash of Sausage McMuffins which I'm sure will still be available later on, but at least we know we have those. It was nice to have this little bit of a break at home, but I'll begin to focus on my to do list of things I never got to, which probably means there will be a lot of content posted over the next two weeks. Here goes nothing. 

~:[CH9 - Day 73]:~ Things We Can't Buy

~:[CH9 - Day 73]:~ Things We Can't Buy

With all this TP chaos, I remembered that my friend had bought me a big roll for Christmas. I was originally going to put it up right away, but was trying to figure out the space for it. However, as much as this roll of TP may save me in the future, it's the thoughts of the gift that were valuable. In this stretch of time where we practice social distancing, we can also work on social connections. With no sports on, movies delayed, shows canceled, we can watch the things we've actually forgot to all this time, ourselves and each other. We can work on finding time for the things we've neglected as while we may have work, we may save an hour or two in a commute and getting ready for work. We can clean and organize and in the process we'll discover some of the memories we forgot. We'll be stuck at home and will find time to talk with our loved ones as our busy schedules have kept us from the opportunity. As we have become a society so engulfed in work and in impressing others by where we've been and what we're doing, maybe we can find more impressive things in our connections and in the simple things in life we forgot. Let's be kind and work together in this process as while we must prepare for the unknown, we also must not be hysterical in the process. I think back to the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine is in the toilet and she runs out of toilet paper. She says, "can you spare a square?" The square was not spared, but we now have the opportunity to provide for those who need that square or that morsel of food. Some will price gauge and profit off this time, but I have confidence that we can work on this together. As while we can worry ourselves in politics and what they did or did not do, while don't we take the grassroots approach and solve this problem for ourselves because I know that we are full capable. Let's spare that square and so much more and instead of having this be seen as a pandemic, let's view it as an opportunity for us all.

~:[CH9 - Day 72]:~ A Momentary Break

~:[CH9 - Day 72]:~ A Momentary Break

Sometimes we just can't catch a break. I arrived early in the morning to setup the imperialism game hoping that the scheduled rain would work with my three periods, but it made it for only two. It was a chaotic day with the hysteria of COVID-19 and the pouring rain. With the cancellation of our meet tomorrow due to health concerns and our practice today due to weather, at least I found a momentary break in the madness. I actually had two as when I arrived to school, I got a chance to enjoy the beauty of the moon in the morning sky. The dark ominous clouds surrounded the moon, which were a sign of the things to come. Everywhere around me, I see postponed or cancelled and it made me think that maybe this is truly a blessing. In the world of social media, it's a disaster as all the places that these influencers may flock to will be closed, but maybe it's an opportunity for all of us to avoid the hype of concerts, games, and the newest pop up and focus on all those relationships we've neglected over the years. Sure, they'll still be things we need to do and we also need to be mindful of social distancing, but we can also work on those important relationships, as well as paying attention to ourselves as well, taking a momentary break for ourselves. We live in crazy times and it will not be easy, but let's at least look for a silver lining in a time where there is such negativity. 

~:[CH9 - Day 71]:~ Fear of the Unknown

~:[CH9 - Day 71]:~ Fear of the Unknown

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - FDR

Actually, there is a lot to fear out there, but we cannot let the fear control us. We have to make reasonable decisions while practicing precautions as well. As I watched Jordan play with these brushes as they were cars, it made me think about how we react in situations of the unknown. In reality, he was cleaning the chair and other places, but in his mind he was playing. Even as adults, when we are not sure of things, we don't always know how to act and in many cases we overreact. We think we are doing one thing, when in reality, we're actually doing another. There's no doubt that we should worry and there will be anxiety, but we also must do so with reason. We really don't know what the expect from what's ahead, but we also cannot allow it to drive us into mass hysteria. Schools and business will close as needed, events will be canceled and I am confident that if we keep things in perspective, we will make the changes that need to be changed and allow ourselves to still preserve what we can. I don't know what the future holds for me and those around me. We may be overtaken by this Covid-19 or it may pass us by, but when it does come by, let's make the right choices, not out of fear, but out of reason. It's sad to see news reports of racism or people fighting over the limited resources when they are out "stocking up" and I hope instead of creating a divide, we use this as an opportunity to work together to beat this situation. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I or someone around me could fall ill, but ultimately, we can take precautions, but even those who take every precaution are still susceptible to this, which is still somewhat unknown. Let's use this time to take a deep breath, to see the things we value and to try and see all that is going around us clearly. Until the moment that we are swarmed with this outbreak, it's hard to tell what life will be like, but we can either let the fear of this unknown overtake us and divide us or take control of our fears and use it as an opportunity to beat this all together. We're going to face challenges, we'll see disappointments while delays, cancellations and missed opportunities will be inevitable, but instead of seeing it as an inconveniences, let's see it as an opportunity to appreciate all that we have and all those who we love just a little bit more. As while we cannot control what is unknown, we can bring greater appreciation to all the things we've may have taken for granted over the years. 

~:[CH9 - Day 70]:~ The Cycle

~:[CH9 - Day 70]:~ The Cycle

My senior crew of recruiters worked our open house as we tried to get new signs ups for the upcoming year. We did pretty well. People poured in and we didn't have much down time this year. One after another, they visited the tables, asked questions, then moved on. We never really know how many will actually join, but it was a successful night regardless. I ventured over to the library, as MUN also had their presentation and it was nice to meet the new faces I would be seeing in the fall of 2020. This cycle keeps moving and it's strange how quickly it goes. It seems just like yesterday where I had these athletes as freshmen and sophomores and now, it's time to welcome in a new class, as they say goodbye. Time moves so quickly and while senior year may seem so far away, it will come before you know it so treasure every moment. 

~:[CH9 - Day 69]:~ The Start of the Road

~:[CH9 - Day 69]:~ The Start of the Road

The sign says it's end the of the trail (Route 66), but when you reach the end, is it truly the end or is it just the beginning? We often travel down a road to reach a final destination, however, whether or not that destination ends up being our finishing point always remains to be seen. Life has a strange way of presenting us with different situation and opportunities so we only have to wait to see what's ahead for us all. As I ventured around and took my friends from Japan around, we enjoyed the sights, the good food, but didn't quite enjoy the wind. I wanted so desperately to see the moon (super moon), but alas, the storm blocked the way. Regardless, life doesn't always allow you a clear path, but when it doesn't you just have to wait and seek out the next opportunity that may come your way. For now, the moon evaded me, but one day, I know that another opportunity will come my way. Why? It's because this place is just the beginning for me and I am excited for what the future holds. We said our goodbyes and while it may have seemed that this was the end, in reality it was just the beginning; just wait and see.

~:[CH9 - Day 68]:~ Why the Sky is Blue

~:[CH9 - Day 68]:~ Why the Sky is Blue

Instead of wondering why the sky is blue, why don't we just go out and enjoy. In New York, it's not a sight often seen in late February to March, so maybe it's just a blessing that you should enjoy. I think we do that in life. Instead of going out and enjoying what is offered to us, we think too much of whether or not we should do it; we simply hesitate. Today the sky was blue again, but I was back in LA. It's a usual sight (although it may not be the case this week). It was nice to be back home after a long stretch of here and there and was happy to be able to take a deep breath, do a little bit of work, but also be able to focus on simply getting back into the routine. I didn't think about why I felt so good, rather I just enjoyed the time that I had. You definitely should think things through before taking on an enormous task or agreeing to do something, however, sometimes we also need to worry and hesitate a bit less and simply enjoy the blessings that are given to us. We live in a world were there are so many devastating and negative things happening around us, but rather than allowing those things to bring us down, let's go out and enjoy those blue skies when they are given to us. Forget about how long it will be this way or why it's blue during this time of year and just live. Tomorrow's a new day and so find those opportunities and seize them while you can, as you never know when a moment like this will return ever again. 

~:[CH9 - Day 67]:~ To Exceed All Expectations

~:[CH9 - Day 67]:~ To Exceed All Expectations

There were a lot of changes in the schedule. From an earlier UN trip to a new setting for closing, the students adapted to them all and ultimately celebrated their success because they adapted so easily. It's not always easy to go to a conference you've never been and adjust, but this group did that and ultimately were rewarded for their success. While they received two of the highest awards in research and debate, their success was in their ability to show substance to collaborate and to maintain their level of professionalism throughout. It was about representing their country in a way that brings respect to their mission and the country as a whole. Although they had their ups and downs through the process, when they arrived in New York, they focused on everything they needed to do and executed. Sure there were disappointments, which will be great lessons for life, but overall this group has nothing to be sad about as they battled through and ultimately were rewarded for the work they put in. This whole process can be exhausting and I always feel it as I am heading home, knocking out on the plane ride home, however, whenever I look back on the experience, it isn't something I would trade for anything in this world. To see how these students learn and grow is something so priceless and I only hope that there will be many more who will be able to experience such growth and such joy. It's a demanding program, but when you don't run away from what is challenging, you'll find yourself better off because of it and I have 44 examples of how this is the case. Each in their own found growth, learned lessons, and figured out things for themselves and came together as one to exceed all expectations. 

~:[CH9 - Day 66]:~ People Come Into Our Lives

~:[CH9 - Day 66]:~ People Come Into Our Lives

I was waking down 6th headed towards Bryant Park and started singing Wicked. In the song they sing about how people come int our lives and impact us in some way. Similarly, I think we all find at one point or another that the people we cross paths withs are the ones who actually change who we are (for the good and the bad). We are individuals influenced by those around us which is why it's ever important to surrounds us with people who we respect and can trust. People do come into our lives for a reason and I can see how many people have shaped who I am today. While most people think of only those drastically impact their lives, I also think about how small interactions have changed who I am or simply shifted me ever-so-slightly in order to change the direction in which I would flow. From my students and chaperones to a friend connected through a friend or even an old alumni, they all contribute in helping us become who we are. Be aware and be attentative as you simply never know when you'll cross paths with someone destined to change the path of your future life forever. People come into our lives, they impact us, so let's be sure to treasure each other. 

~:[CH9 - Day 65]:~ Opportunities

~:[CH9 - Day 65]:~ Opportunities

Opportunities are a plenty in life, we just may not see them. From answer an email to checking in on someone, you just have no clue what opportunities await you. Maybe it's an adventure you can go on, maybe it's a chance to help someone and create a lifelong bond. or maybe it's a chance to realize your dreams. Regardless, we must take the opportunities given to us and also appreciate them fully. As simple as an opportunity to grab coffee with someone, to be in a place you've only seen in pictures or even visit a place that doesn't yet exist on Google Maps, you never know what might transpire when you are open to these opportunities. From sitting in the General Assembly Hall to meeting the Counselor from the Mission of the Republic of Korea to the UN to skying high above the New York skyline at the Edge, it was a day full of opportunities and I am excited to see what more of these opportunities come my way. Life has it's ups and downs, but when we let those moments distract us from seeing what else lies before us, we often miss opportunities that can make the great times greater and turn things around when you're facing difficult times. Earlier in the day, I dropped my camera and broke my lens. Instead of allowing that to ruin my day, I made the most of the day and instead I ended up soaring high above to the views of the Manhattan skyline. Keep your eyes open and grab hold of those opportunities as you never know where they will take you. 

~:[CH9 - Day 64]:~ Maintaining the Core

~:[CH9 - Day 64]:~ Maintaining the Core

The first day of conference is always a nerve-wracking moment, but also is one that is exciting as we've been working towards this point for months. The reactions always range from hopefulness and excitement to frustration and disappointment. I don't let them complain. My responses are normally, "don't complain," "adapt," and "you can figure it out." Every once in awhile, I get the case where I talk to them more, but the reality is, I know they can handle it themselves. They're tough and they are able to handle it, they just have to remember that fact in order to do so. Part of the focus they need to have is to maintain the core. What does that mean? Protect the reason why you're here in the first place. The new system, the delegates you work with or in life, any situation that is unfamiliar, unexpected or unwanted, will try to throw you off track, but you must stay true to yourself and maintain what is at the core. The world is going to try and break you, but you must fight back and not let it destroy the things you love, the things that make you dream and most importantly, you cannot let the world destroy you. Discouragement and disappointment are waiting for us all, but it is up to use if we can find the silver lining  in an otherwise dire or depressing situation. When life makes things tough, trust in yourself and protect those core values which drive you and help you become the best version of yourself. As we heard speakers talk about how we needed to do things, how we can bring most positivity in life and how sometimes you need to take that leap of faith for the things you love, all I could think about it that it is the students who bring out the best in me and in turn I hope I can do something similar for them. There are still a few more days left in conference, but as tough as it will be for the students, I know that they will persevere. No matter what happens in life and how bad it gets, never forget to protect your core values, never allowing anyone around you from discouraging you; pushing you away from the things you hold dear. Be determined, be positive and never back down as it is you who ultimately decides what direction you go, helping shape what in store for you on the journey ahead. 

~:[CH9 - Day 63]:~ The Goal is Not Everything

~:[CH9 - Day 63]:~ The Goal is Not Everything

I have seen Wicked so many times, yet it always holds a place in my heart and drives home a message. One of the messages that always sticks with me is that reaching the end goal is not always everything. Sometimes people push so hard to reach for a goal only to realize that the satisfaction that they hoped to gain from it is anything but and others realize that they don't need to reach that end goal in order to be happy. Happiness lies in the ability to live the way you wish without too many worries. I think we all just want to live a comfortable life and not to have to fight with each other. As while some wish to live in luxuries, our happiness can often be found in our ability to enjoy simple moments. Similar to what happened last year, our students sang with the musician who was playing near Bethesda Terrace. The sounds echoed out of the tunnel and while not always the most talented in singing, the sounds were amazingly beautiful as the moment to one's heart. This moment was one of the greatest moments of the trips for the students, as it was one of the centers of their discussions for the remainder of the day. As while one may dream to be alongside the cast members of Wicked on stage, the greatest stage in life that they will perform are the every day moments like today. As while I hope to reach all that I aim for, I will not allow that to make me forget what's important in life. Much like the sounds echoed through the tunnels, those same sounds will continue to echo through my heart for the rest of my life and will be a treasure much greater than reaching any goal could provide.

~:[CH9 - Day 62]:~ Eventually We Find a Way

~:[CH9 - Day 62]:~ Eventually We Find a Way

We left Cerritos with 43, but today, we had all 44. A mother rushed her daughter over after she recovered from being sick and finally we were all together. It's life. We don't always follow the path that is planned and even when we are diverted, we can eventually find our way to a path destined for us. I ate with an alum who is in the musical Hadestown and just knowing his journey and hearing his plans, I was thinking this same thought. Through the ups and downs, the good and the bad, you find a way. Life is a battle and we all have places we wanted to go, but in order to get there, you have to be ready to take on the challenges, deal with the disappointments and most importantly, keep fighting. Life is not easy, but when things fall into place and we find our way, it can be quite glorious. Keep fighting and let's all find our way :)

~:[CH9 - Day 61]:~ Remembering

~:[CH9 - Day 61]:~ Remembering 

The students weren't alive when 9/11 happened. It's amazing how long it's been since it happened. However, while they were not alive, the impact of this day will live in their hearts and minds forever. We woke up early and dragged our way to Battery Park and caught the ferry. It was freezing on the way, but not bad on the way back. I didn't feel as rushed as normal, as we even had time to stop for a bite to eat before heading into the museum. We jumped over to the Brooklyn Bridge which was way too crowded and finished up on the ice at Rockefeller Center with a group that had to be my worst group of ice skaters ever (on average), even though there were a few who actually ice skating. Regardless, much like they do in other areas, they persevered, never gave up and actually ended up decent by the night's end. I am tired, but we created memories that will last a lifetime and I only hope that this will continue. Here's to another day in the books!