~:[CH6 - Day 151]:~ Jumping into the Fire

~:[CH6 - Day 151]:~ Jumping into the Fire

There are days that are busy, some that are stressful, yet sometimes there are days where you feel like you're jumping straight into a fire. Today was one of those days. I am even doubting if I should be taking the time to write this post, but if don't do it today, I don't know when I will. As I arrived back at just past 1am, I got a little bit of work done, posted my blog, sent a message out to a friend and then got to bed. I woke up and hit the ground running, as I got paperwork done, began the process of prepping for the day, and headed out the door to work. I caught up on all the grading I missed out on the past few weeks, did paperwork for this year and last year and then tried to make sure that I had everything ready, as I realized that I had to leave for Fresno tomorrow. What ... tomorrow??? This trip would not have caused any issues if there had not been a delay, but there was and now I am stuck rushing through this firestorm. After 7th period PE and practice, I headed home and got to work on prepping for the track banquet. It took almost all night before I realized that I needed to work on the slideshow, count up our final numbers for both banquets, finish up some paperwork for PE, print out the info for state championships, design two shirts, send photos for another event, and the list kept growing as I realized what I had to do. The lists can get long and the stress will mount the longer you are in the firestorm, but no matter what, you need to keep your head on straight. You need to keep your cool and stay calm and collected and find a way through it. Somehow, I finished most of what I needed to as I sit here knowing that tomorrow will be just as bad. Soon enough though, soon enough, the light at the end of the tunnel will appear and the sounds of summer will arrive. Just when I thought I had no more energy to go on, I saw a wonderful message from an alumni that inspired me and motivated me to do just a bit more before turning in and reminded me why I am doing all of this work. Just like the puzzles my students tried to figure out today in class, despite all the stress, when  you finally complete the puzzle and realize what you've accomplished, you see that all the work did not go to waste. There are things to fix and not all will go perfectly, but for now, I am content and I have won against this firestorm. No, I will not be consumed today. Today, I jumped into the fire and won. Tomorrow, we'll see if I can do it all over again.

~:[CH6 - Day 150]:~ What the Heart Wants

~:[CH6 - Day 150]:~ What the Heart Wants

It was quite the disastrous trip home. I missed seeing a friend before leaving, I paid extra for parking, and spent pretty much an entire day in the airport. There was some good, but a lot that was frustrating. Regardless, I was well taken care of. The lounge was amazing, I got my own row, and I had time to think. I started to think, what has this and all my other adventures be about. What is it that I want and it made me think, what is it that everyone wants? I guess life for everyone is not like mine, but why should someone be jealous of my adventures. What is it that I have that others do not? What I give up to do this are things that others may value more. I guess life is truly about what the heart wants. For some it's family and love, for some it's independence and for others it's interests such as cars, shopping, or even investing. However, I think in the process of this all, I began to question what it is that my heart wants. As my mind wanders and desires to be abroad and explore and adventure, a piece of my heart begins to explore other possibilities. It's the process of adaptation that we humans all go through. Will it change me or is this wandering piece of my heart only temporary. As I sat on the shoreline at the Dragon Boat Festival on the day that I was about to leave, I smiled at the colors, the festivities and just the fact that I was somewhere else and in a day, I would be back home. Tomorrow, I am not sure what my heart will tell me, but today, my heart was at ease, soaking in all the beauty the world has to offer. The trip was a roller coaster of adventures, but I would not have changed a thing if I had a chance to go back and do so. I met new friends, grew closer to others, and learned even more as I begin to wonder where my heart wants to go from here. For now, I'll sleep at ease knowing that I made it home, but tomorrow and everyday forward, I'll have to wonder what my heart wants. Until the day that I can answer that question, I think I will still be searching the world for the answer and even then, the situation will be ever changing. Regardless of what your heart wants, chase it and pursue it with all of your heart and don't allow others from chasing what your heart holds most precious. 

~:[CH6 - Day 149]:~ Peace & Harmony

~:[CH6 - Day 149]:~ Peace & Harmony

Relaxing on a vacation is simply not my style. I normally wake up early, hit the ground running and try to last as long as possible. This trip has definitely tested my energy level, but it has been well worth it all. After landing in Hong Kong, I was able to meet up with a friend and venture out to the Big Buddha. It was a bit of a challenge to secure a locker for my luggage and then also to try to find transportation there with the cable cars down, but ultimately, it all worked out as we enjoyed the area. I even made another friend - a bull who followed me around the grounds. After a nice adventure, I checked in my hotel before venturing out again eating the wonderful foods of Hong Kong and exploring the street markets just as they closed. While there wasn't the greatest amount of time to explore, I made every moment of it today. As while for some, a nice beach to kick up your heels is a nice vacation, for me, my peace and harmony is found in making the most of every minute of each day. While this is the case, I also have found a way to make a compromise to also slow down to ensure that I don't miss something that I should see. In the end, each of us has our own way to find peace and harmony in the world, but as Buddha once said, "Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." For each of us, we must do our best to find our peace within ourself. It's difficult with all going on in life to allow ourselves to find peace and harmony, but ultimately, we cannot allow our journey to peace and harmony be impacted by factors outside of our control. If we truly seek out peace and harmony, we must seek it within ourselves and not allow ourselves to ruin the peace and harmony we seek, however we seek it. "Each morning, we are born again. What we do today matters the most." Let start with today so that we begin our journey to that true peace and harmony that we seek.

~:[CH6 - Day 148]:~ Disastrously Magical

~:[CH6 - Day 148]:~ Disastrously Magical

It was quite an odd day, with some many missteps. From running out of time in the morning, to having issues with the tickets in the afternoon, it seemed like there was headache after headache. I messed up on a reservations, we got lost, ended up on the wrong side of the castle and felt like we were on the amazing race, the way we were running around. Yet within the clouded disaster of it all, there was something magical. When you don't allow all those thing to get to you, you find happiness and in happiness, you find magic. With all the missteps, I couldn't imagine today being any more awesome. The crowds weren't as bad as expected, Pirates of the Caribbean and the Lion King were amazing, and we just had a great time wandering the park and exploring together. It's easy to let the disasters in life blow up in our face, but it's much more worthwhile to enjoy the experiences we have and treasure them as special. There was a little bit of rough edges to my experiences in Shanghai, but ultimately, I polished them and found hidden gems that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I was disappointed that my body wouldn't have enough energy to head to the Bund one last time to get the skyline photo, but I was already content. As while we watched the fireworks up in the sky disappear into smoke, the magic that I found here in Shanghai will never disappear. 

~:[CH6 - Day 147]:~ A Great Deal of Thanks

~:[CH6 - Day 147]:~ A Great Deal of Thanks

I was pretty exhausted rolling into the city after a long flight. It was more exhausting going through the hassle of figuring out how to get my 72-hour visa on site. I got escorted by four different people and started to feel special. That was the start of my day to give thanks. From great drivers to great workers at the hotels, I ran into a lot of amazing people among those who pushed me around through the day including a little girl who was trying to fight her way to the front of the line, literally. She pushed me and others and no one said a think about it. Of course, I was ready for it. By days end, I was thankful for a friend for meeting up and when called into a work event, for her other friend to step up and take me around the city. I am lucky to have great friend around the world to make life easier when things aren't always perfect and am blessed to be a beautiful city such as Shanghai. Of course, the topping on the cake were all the birthday wishes I received from those of the past and the loved ones of the present. While due to my travels, I have not responded to all of your posts and message, from the bottom of my heart, I am grateful to have such wonderful people in my lives. I definitely realized even more so that I have so much to be thankful for. 

~:[CH6 - Day 146]:~ Catching Rest

~:[CH6 - Day 146]:~ Catching Rest

Sometimes you need to make a little bit of time to catch up on some rest. I'm not sure I would say that I made myself catch up, but regardless, I got a lot of rest today as I began my adventure for the weekend. It's a little bit of a crazy idea for some, as I head across to the other side of the world, but for those who know me, it's pretty normal. Getting the visa was a bit of a hassle today, as it's the first time I've used the 72-hour visa process to Shanghai, but in the end, it worked out and I floated along to my destination. We'll see how it all goes when I arrive, but for now, I am excited that I will be heading out an adventure soon. It's time to allow my body to relax and rest so I can truly be on vacation mode. 

~:[CH6 - Day 145]:~ Sorting Through It All

~:[CH6 - Day 145]:~ Sorting Through It All

It was a little bit of a crazy day trying to get everything organized, however, it all worked out in the end. From dealing with this cold to getting through grading, finishing up the preparations for track banquet and evening surviving a PE volleyball tournament, by days end, I was able to catch a few moments to relax. With the long weekend upcoming, it will be a relief to be able to relax and explore some more. Before I knew it, it was time to head to the city council in order to receive our mayoral proclamation from the city. It was packed inside and the ceremony was a little bit crazy, however, in the end, it was nice for the students to receive their recognition and for us to enjoy one last night together. It was a little chaotic at the restaurant with a reservation that wasn't marked down, but we finally got to sit down and enjoy our meal. At this moment every year, I get to soak in the memories of the trip and remember all of the great moments that we shared. No matter how the group does or how much of a struggle the process is with them, in the end, it always is a pleasure to have been able to work with a group. To see them together, enjoying each other's company, it reminds me how worth it is to do the job that I do. There are days where I just want to plop down on the couch when I get home and just take a nap, but there are more days where I come home excited for the days that are ahead. From the dinner together with the Nationals team to my PE class singing an early birthday song to me, I was able to rest well when I got home and ready for all the adventures coming my way.

~:[CH6 - Day 144]:~ Truly Golden ... Again

~:[CH6 - Day 144]:~ Truly Golden ... Again

Every year, the Premios de Oro celebration is one of the best events. Our school gets to celebrated the best and the brightest students in our classes whether its academically, participation or in some way that they positively contribute to the classroom environment. It definitely is never easy picking who to select. The quality of the students I get is amazing and every year, it's like picking between 24k gold and 23.999k gold or even 24k gold vs 24k gold. Regardless of whether I picked a students or not, I have been truly blessed by such a good crop of students who work hard, who contribute and who really challenge me on a daily basis. They keep things fun and light and while I am strict and sometimes difficult to work with, I think they (especially the older ones) understand why. There are so many stories of how difficult students are, but I don't often see it, as it is maybe 1/2 of 1% or less of the population that I work with. I thank my lucky stars often and understand that I cannot take such great students for granted. To all my students, whether you received a Premios de Oro or not, you are truly golden.

~:[CH6 - Day 143]:~ Making the Most

~:[CH6 - Day 143]:~ Making the Most

You may see yourself at a disadvantage. You may feel as if what you were given in life is not fair in comparison to what others have. It's true, some people have more than you, but does that mean that their life is better than yours? Can we truly based on our happiness on our wealth and what we've attained? In a day full of presentations and hilarious moments such as watching runners try to play volleyball, I realized that sometimes we aren't given all the skills that others may have and all the privileges either. Yet, despite this, we can not only survive, but excel if we put our mind to it. As I looked at all the leftovers, it summed up the day, as I knew, I could make the most out of this meal. Life is difficult. It doesn't give free handouts to very many. However, if we enter life with the right perspective, we can make the most of what we have. Sure, there are some situations that are worse than others, however, truly, seeing what you can make out of what you have is the most rewarding experience of them all. Others may receive praise because they have the best ingredients or even the most skills, however, my best days is when I had the least and produced something I never thought I could. Life is like that and we must be prepared to make the most of every moment, even when life serves us up a bunch of leftovers. Go at it with passion, with heart, with determination and ready to make the most of it. 

~:[CH6 - Day 142]:~ The Future of Your Past

~:[CH6 - Day 142]:~ The Future of Your Past

Mondays can tend to be a little challenging, but for some reason, today just floated along. The excitement of the upcoming weekend may have been the reason or maybe it was just that I have had a good walk over the past few weeks. As I headed to our captains meeting, it felt a little different, but also was pretty nice. It was different than the past, as we head forward into the future. It made me think, what is our past really to us? I've talked about how sometimes we hold on to our past too much and must learn from it and move on. However, today, I also began thinking of how things from the past transcend into the future. What we put behind us, we should definitely learn from and grown from. We should not worry about what our past is our about. The reality? If something from our past is so important, it will great us in the future, whether physically or in spirit. Those who have passed on, a love that was lost, or a missed opportunity may be things that are behind us, but are things that, if important enough, can greet us in the future. The loved one who we lost can live on in the stories we tell, in the photos we took and in the lessons that we carry with us for the rest of our lives. A heartbreak can become a lesson learned and another opportunity down the road to reconnect, reconcile and possibly find love again. The missed opportunity can be something we grow from so that we do not miss it when it shows its face again. Sure, there are things we want to leave in the past. Things that we should learn from and move on from. We often will move forward and move on in life. For me, it's a yearly thing as students and athletes graduate and move on to their lives. Many times, I get to watch them from afar and keep tabs on how they are doing and smile when I hear of the success and celebrations they have. For others, while they have left and moved on, will leave a lasting impact on those who still remain or will continue to appear in my life, inspiring me, motivating me, and pushing me to do the best job that I can. It is then that the past becomes the present and the future. I don't want to live in the past or even in most cases resurrect it, but there is not doubt that in life, there will be a future to your past. For now, I hope that the good fortune of captains of the past will greet next year's captains group so that they will continue to do a great job. Where we go from here, I have no clue, but I am comforted for some strange reason, as today keeps floating along. 

~:[CH6 - Day 141]:~ Designing Your Own

~:[CH6 - Day 141]:~ Designing Your Own

Being an artists, I realize that it's something that is hard to do because so many people are there to criticize your work and many times, they don't truly understand it. Non-mainstream art is definitely more of a challenge for people and if you don't take the time to think about it, to read about it and to ask questions about it, you may not truly understand. Visiting the awesome 14th Factory would have been better on a cooler day, regardless, it was amazing to see all the various types of works that were more than just the social media friendly pieces that everyone will be jealous of. Sometimes, it is in the finest details of these pieces that we find the true qualities of a piece of art. In this piece, the meaning came in what was produced, but more importantly in how it was produced. Sitting down with people from all around the world, they took their favorite book, shredded it, and wove it into this larger piece as they talked about why the book was so special to them. Not only did the book they were talking about become part of the piece, it also took with it, the story of this person who contributed the book to this piece. There was great effort and meaning put into the creation of this piece and that sums up what we need to do in life. I our lives, we are going to be judged constantly and people will criticize us, misunderstand us and sometimes, ignore us all together because we may not fit what is in their image. However, our goal should not be about pleasing everyone, but about producing what we hope to produce, incorporating the experiences of others in our lives and as we weave the story of our lives, to put must effort and meaning into it. Truly, what we create may not be what other had imagined or even what you yourself imagined, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. The effort and love that was put into making the piece will be evident and while it may not be evident to all, you cannot be discouraged. They'll be snags and imperfections in what you create and at times, you may want to start all over, but the reality of it all is, be proud of what you created. You designed this piece and because of how it was created, this piece includes pieces of you within it. We live in a time where everyone has their opinion, however, never allow that opinion stop you from weaving your story the way you want to, if you know in your heart you're heading in the right direction. 

~:[CH6 - Day 140]:~ To Your Heart's Content

~:[CH6 - Day 140]:~ To Your Heart's Content

I'm a pretty competitive person. I've always grown up that way, but also was taught to remember good sportsmanship and character. Sometimes, the competitiveness takes over and later on, I'm filled with regret. However, these experiences have also given me perspective in life. While I talk about this with my students and athletes all the time, I always have to remind myself that simply doing something is just as good, if not better than winning. Competing and participating, giving your all, and showing good character far surpass winning when it comes to the scale of success. Why? As I talked to my students individually, you can get a sense that there is a fear of failure. They're afraid of trying something new, or giving their full effort, or even loving with all their heart because they think to themselves, "what if I fail?" Failure is not falling short of your goal, rather, from running away from the challenges that may bring you heartbreak. Life is tough as it's filled with many pitfalls that everyone of us is subject to. We're all just as likely to fall in, however, is it really failing? For some, today was not the best of days. We fell short of a CIF title in volleyball despite a hard-fought spirited battle. One of my athletes missed her PR after an amazing freshman season. My high jumper barely missed winning a CIF championship, but still qualified for Masters. Ergo, despite the amazing performances this evening at Cerritos Got Talent, there was only two "winners" selected. However, the successes and failures of life should not stop you from singing to your heart's content. It should not stop you from taking risks, exploring and truly testing what you're made of. It should not making you live with the perspective that there is only one "winner" and that thinking otherwise is something that people who cannot win will think. As while it is true that there will only be one champion crowned in most championships, a championship can be full of a number of winners who display the qualities and features that you want to see in someone you consider a "winner." As while this world will continue to focus on who eventually gets to the top, for me, the only battle I face is with myself, as I know if I win or not, simply by knowing if I have conquered what I set out for. As while it's easy to measure something based on wins and loses, the true measure of success can be based on the overflowing love from the heart, the unbreakable spirit and the courage to rise up, even when the odds are stacked against you. Don't be afraid of losing, rather, tackle life ahead on and sing to your heart's content. 

~:[CH6 - Day 139]:~ To Make You Smile

~:[CH6 - Day 139]:~ To Make You Smile

It's always one of the most difficult lessons to talk about, but also the most impactful. I want to do my best to send a clear message to the students that good character ultimately reigns above all else - money, power, and respect. It's hard because we are not always going to stay on track. We sway from the path and our job is to find a way back. To find a way to overcome our troubles and find a reason to smile. True happiness does not come from the money that we can collect over our lifetimes. Sure, we can buy more things, but can we really buy everything? The same goes for power and respect. The times I have felt the best in my life and the times I felt the most well off was when I did a good deed, went above and beyond for someone else, or got goosebumps from seeing the reaction that someone else has from the assistance that I can provide. I don't need a thank you, a gift or anything of that sort, but simply a "I will also try to do the same things." Yes, pay it forward. The happiness in my life has always come from students, athletes, colleagues, friends, family and of course, God. I may not always be the most open about it all, but truly, when I get home it's all that runs through my mind. When most others have already gone to bed, I use the quiet time to think, to ponder, and to hope for the best for the loved ones around me. It's not enough that I can simply think of them, but I must continue to make an effort to be there for them, no matter how much energy I must expend in the process. I am not where near where I should be, but when evaluating myself tonight, I am progressing. I have hope that I can get there. As I walked through Disneyland with my friends, the crowds bothered me and it could have been easily to yell out and to allow it to ruin my day, however, when I look back on the entire day from class to the closing of Disneyland, I could only smile. As while there are so many things that are waiting to bring you down, a smile can be one of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal. As while darkness can overcome your life, your smile will be there to brighten your day and there is no better way to find that smile than to trust in the loved ones around you and put good character first in your lives. 

~:[CH6 - Day 138]:~ The Life of a Gesture

~:[CH6 - Day 138]:~ The Life of a Gesture

I've always thought about how far a gesture can go. Sometimes, the simplest gestures become great things that you could never have imagined. Sometimes, you don't think twice about what you did, yet that same gesture means the world to someone else. Sometimes, what starts out as a thought, becomes something that changes your life forever. As I created each page of this book that I am making for my sponsor child for her graduation, I am reminded about how I just quickly decided to sponsor a child. It was ten years ago and I am not sure if I really thought about what it meant. I sent my monthly payment, wrote a letter, as we shared prayer requests back and forth. From when she was just a small child, to the graduate I will see again in a few weeks, I am amazed at how this grew into something that I believe has been one of the greatest joys in my life. When meeting with the family and project team,  I am inspired and my heart is full. To see them all smile makes me forget about what they do not have, as a pure smile is more valuable than most things that you can buy. As I created this book, I was reminded that the money and wealth you can have may open up doors and give you opportunities, but by the end of the day, it all means nothing when you can't smile, when you can't love, and when you can't soak in all of the wonderful emotions that exist in this world. As I rolled through class, ate dinner with the team and connected with some friends, I saw that sometimes the smallest gestures on your behalf can become the most priceless things you've ever created. I never dreamed that I would be so happy and excited about my sponsor child when I first started this program ten years ago, however, now I cannot even imagine my life without being able to provide for her and her family. What I have given to them has already multiplied and I am grateful every day that the timing worked out as it did. As while at times you may consider your gesture small, just be ready, because that seed you just planted will one day grow into something so amazing. 

~:[CH6 - Day 137]:~ Records Made to be Broken

~:[CH6 - Day 137]:~ Records Made to be Broken

I was excited for today. I was pretty confident that the record would be broken even though there wasn't "race conditions" and even though we weren't training like normal. It's amazing that last year, we were scrambling to fill GFS spots, but this year, we had a slew of GFS athletes, a team who eventually won the title. I guess when you think about it though, records are made to be broken. I always see how the bar is raised every time someone betters a mark set previously. People strive to beat the previous mark and somehow, we find new athletes to top the previous marks, sometimes making it seem easy. If you combine these four athletes' PRs together, it would total 23:17 and while they did not run that mark, they still ran solid and broke the record. Sadly, it was our last running day of the season as we will begin to transition into other things, but when the end arrives, it also means that a new beginning is headed your way. It's an opportunity to strive for even greater things so that you can find out the potential that you have inside of you. Today a record fell, but if these athletes keep working at it, they'll find themselves shattering even more records, because with the right mentality and work ethic, they'll continue to improve and find themselves zooming by all of those athletes of the past, raising the bar for all those who come after them. Never settle and keep striving for greater things, because you definitely have the ability to get there if you really believe that you can.

~:[CH6 - Day 136]:~ Self Love

~:[CH6 - Day 136]:~ Self Love

There's a number of self-help books that cover the topic of self love. What is it exactly? I've never really been too much into the selfie game unless I'm snapping a picture with other people in it. I've taken selfies to remember what I wore on a day, but never really to show myself off to the world. What was I scared of? What was I running away from? I think one of the hardest things in life is to find the balance between yourself and others. You want to give and share with others, but also balance that with care and concern with yourself. On Sunday, I talked about how mothers tend to give so much of themselves and as amazing as it is, sometimes, it's not healthy for them to do that. As while giving is an important aspect of life, you must equally learn to receive especially when it's from yourself. We all venture on that road of self discovery. Who are we really? What are we all about? Why are we even here? When you learn to love yourself, you'll begin finding answers to those questions and then in turn, you'll be ready to love those around you. It's a tough thing to do. We're often too tough on ourselves, too critical, and really hold ourselves back at times, when in reality, we should begin to trust in ourselves, believe in ourselves and become the biggest cheerleaders for ourselves. Yes, like in all things in life, there are limits to what you should be doing in these cases, however, for many of us, we need to find it in ourselves before we will be able to grow enough to truly help those around us. I've still got a way to go before I get to where I want to be, but maybe this selfie is a good place to start. I'm far from perfect in this picture, but I'm perfectly fine with that, as it is in my confidence to take and post this that I inch closer to the perfection for which I aim. While I may never get there, at least I'll find myself learning to love myself more in the process and in turn, being able to love those around me more. What's not to love about that?

~:[CH6 - Day 135]:~ Healing, Growing, Loving

~:[CH6 - Day 135]:~ Healing, Growing, Loving

The schedule threw me off a bit today, but it was actually quite nice. The Mondays are always a challenging thing to get over, but today, wasn't too bad at all. Today was filled with a mix of emotions with a few lows, but a lot more highs. With good news and the bad and a bit of a cold to fight, I sat down and turned to a bowl of soup for a cure. It's strange how in life that something so simple can make you feel a thousand times better. I would have been happy with just the broth of the soup, but as I drove home, I had a skip in my step and felt much better. Life always seems to be like a roller coaster ride and no matter how high you get, you're bound to head back down, even if ultimately, your destination is up. However, isn't that the process that we face? Isn't that life itself? The pain you feel sometimes is unbearable and makes you want to crawl up inside of a hole. You want to hide from the world and one day, just one day, you may consider climbing back out. While there are so many fancy treatments and medicines that may help you, your healing can being with something as simple as a bowl of soup - a word of kindness, a simple gesture, or even a smile. Healing is never easy, but after the pain, the healing allows growth and the growth allows you to love again. The scars will remain, but by the end of the process, you'll find yourself able to open up your heart and risk it all. Life has all its complexities, but sometimes, the simplest things can be the answer to your problems. Today it was a bowl of soup that has allowed me to heal, to grow and soon, will allow me to love again, as tomorrow is a new day as I set out with a heart and soul that is ready for all that is ahead.

~:[CH6 - Day 134]:~ The Love of a Mother

~:[CH6 - Day 134]:~ The Love of a Mother

I was not an easy child to raise. I was too quiet when I was little, but always making noise because I was always getting into trouble. A scratch here, stitches there, hospital visits and more. Even to this day, my mother has dealt with my antics and loved me endlessly. Through all those moments when you are young, you never rarely take the time to truly understand the importance of the love of a mother. I see the difficulty that is required in being a loving mother, as there is so much sacrifice and so much of yourself given that you rarely have enough energy for yourself (if any at all). While time and energy is sacrificed, the smile that is on the face of their mother when with child is unmatched and you always wonder why that's the case, even when their child is crying their eyes out. There are days where it's not easy and when voices will be raised, but in most cases, it's done out of love. I am forever indebted to my mother who has always given so much of herself to me and even more to those around her. She always has gone above and beyond and has taught me so much about caring for those around you, about having a loving heart and the importance of thinking of the needs of others, as well as your own. There are so  many great moments I have been able to share with my mother and I am grateful everyday for those, even the ones I cannot remember. As I cooked dinner tonight, I tried to put the same love and attention that she puts into preparing her meals, making sure that we are all satisfied and content. I am thankful for my mother, but also thankful to all those who are called mom, biological or not, as I appreciate all that you do to raise your children so that they live a successful life as an adult. Happy Mother's Day!

~:[CH6 - Day 133]:~ The Distance

~:[CH6 - Day 133]:~ The Distance

I woke up early and headed to Moorpark. I wish it was closer, but you deal with the cards that you are dealt. It was a lot warmer than I had hoped for in Moorpark and all did not go as I had hoped, however, after two qualifiers, a few PRs and some good challenge races, I had a great moment in my coaching career. Interestingly enough, it came when one of my athletes ran his worst time of his career; a time he had jogged faster all season in dual meets. As just a freshman, he struggled after his first race with the combination of illness, the competition and the heat. He didn't look good at all and before the 3200m, I thought it would be wise to pull the plug, but he kept saying that he didn't want to quit, even if he knew it wouldn't be his best race. He wanted to go out and give his all, even in his current state. I was impressed as I expected a survival story, but saw a freshman mature into someone greater. He battled through and hung with the pack through three laps and even came through at 5:00 at the 1600m mark, just off of where he was when he PRed. He faltered from there, but there was a reason he was smiling when he came back to the tent. He battled and didn't back down, even when everything seemed to point to taking a pass. He had the mentality to do what he could even if he knew that he had physical limitations. When he came back from his race, I couldn't have been more proud, even though it was one of his worst marks of his career. I thought that would be my best story from the day, but from the present, I got transported to the past. Directly from the meet, I jetted over to Long Beach for the wedding of my friend of twenty years. I cannot even believe it has been that long. We met at a cross country meet and my thoughts of her have not changed. She was an incredible person, with a big heart and one of the toughest people I've ever met. As an athlete, she tackled impossible odds and as a coach, she expected nothing less than the best from the athletes and never allow them to make an excuse or to give up. She made it tough on them, but in the long run, she made them into amazing people ready to tackle the world. Of course, tonight was made even more special as it was a reunion of sorts of some of my former distance athletes who I have spent so much time with and who I've kept in contact with. It was so special to seem them all, to catch up and to celebrate with them and Grace at a beautiful venue on a beautiful day. I stepped out to the waterway and smiled to myself before going back to see everyone, because I was reminded about how blessed I was. Everyone here tonight knew the battle that our distance freshman had today. There are days where you just don't have it, but much like Grace would push the athletes that celebrated tonight, he pushed through and battled to a victory that surpassed the time that will be recorded into history. They knew how tough those moments in life could be as they survived some of the toughest moments in our programs history, yet they knew that their tradition of an ohana could carry a program into the future, surviving even the worst of times. I'm just not so sure that they would realize that their impact would still be in effect nearly a decade later, as today, I saw the same spirit and same drive that I saw born ten years ago. It's strange how coincidences happen like how the connection between CIF today and the wedding in the evening would exist. If you really think about it though, maybe it's not a coincidence at all. but regardless, I know that whether it's tomorrow or twenty years more from now, I hope that I find that the distances we traveled together is exactly what bring us back together and that the love that we cultivate will live on for generations to come. Ohana. 

~:[CH6 - Day 132]:~ Just the Right Mix

~:[CH6 - Day 132]:~ Just the Right Mix

It's wonderful to have a good, dependable friend. The one who always has your back and always is down to spend time with you. It's also nice to have a mix of people around you who you can grow with in a range of capacities, as you try to balance the combinations in your own life. Sometimes too much of one thing or too little of another can throw off that balance, but there are those moments when you get that balance just right. One of my goals this year was to try and reach out to as many of my friends as possible to maintain the contact that I had with them as they have a special role in my life. They may not all overlap, but in some way shape or form, they have become part of that mixture that makes life so sweet and I hope that I can be part of that combination for them. With only a few left on the list, I look forward to expanding and also trying to continue to reach out to those around me who make life as grand as it is. It's strange as in life, you experiment to find the right mix, but at some point, you come across exactly what you were looking for all this time. For now, the mixture I found is just right and I hope to maintain that balance, as those around me are what make every day better. Sometimes I am stressed, at other times I'm lost, but in the end, I find a way to see all that is good around me and smile, because how can you not when life is this sweet. 

~:[CH6 - Day 131]:~ A Reason to Write

~:[CH6 - Day 131]:~ A Reason to Write

It's been awhile since I've written. I guess there needs to be that emotion and that feeling, I guess you need a reason to write. I often write poetry like a songwriter can write a song. In some cases, it is very directly impacted by things in  your life and while in others, a mere spark of inspirations allows you to quickly draw up something faster than you've ever done it before. I've watched a few shows as of late of musicians coming up with songs or various artists finding inspiration. I always wondering when I experience art, what exactly inspired the artist to create what they did. Our lives are overflowing with emotion with death and in celebration, in defeat and in success, and in love and in heartache. The pendulum of our lives will swing back and forth and the wavelengths will never get too high or too low for most of our lives. While in some cases, we fear the emotions that we think may tear us apart, without those emotions, the emotions we cherish and hope for would not be the same. Love would not be as precious, the celebration would not be as glorious, and in general, the emotions would not be as grand. I am grateful to have people in my life who inspire me, who motivate me and who get me to see more and more about myself and who help me unlock the emotions that were once tightly sealed away. Whether next door or on the other side of the world, you truly have inspired me to be who I am and to live how I live. Tomorrow, who knows what my life will look like and who will surround me, but for today, my heart is full, because I am surrounded by a group of people who I hold dear who help me become the best version of myself. I found a reason to write today and while I may not write tomorrow, I know that there will be many more reasons for me to write in the days coming. I am grateful for those who inspire me, whether I've known you a week or my entire life and if I have not done so already, I thank you, as you are the reason that I write, but more importantly, you are the reason why I live. 

~:[CH6 - Day 130]:~ Growing Up

~:[CH6 - Day 130]:~ Growing Up

Today, I had a pretty rough day, trying to help a friend through a difficult time. It was a carry over from yesterday, but with my mind wandering on what was going on, it was hard to deal with. Regardless, through our conversations, it seems like things have gotten better and while not easy, she will survive these difficult times. I guess that's the process of life. You find a difficult patch in your life when you least expect it and are asked to handle it. It's never an easy task, but it seems that you grow a lot from that experience. As I looked at our CIF group this year, of the sixteen athletes we have with us still (one is missing), we only had two seniors with the freshmen doubling that count. It's a very strange age makeup with this group, but that's what makes it all the more special. You see those who have been around still able to find success and those who are up and coming, ready for the challenges ahead and ready to grow up through all the lessons they will face before them. They'll fail and also succeed, they'll choose the wrong path and then the right one, they'll fall, but in the end, they'll get right back up. It's the process of growing up. It's the process of learning. As the laughter echoed in the restaurant with the group enjoying themselves thoroughly, I knew that there was something special here and I cannot wait to see how it all turns out down the line. Yes, today was a tough day, but it's apart of growing up and so you learn to find a way to get through it so that tomorrow you'll be a bigger and better person. 

~:[CH6 - Day 129]:~ Never Alone

~:[CH6 - Day 129]:~ Never Alone

I wondered why there was a group of people at the pole vault pit,only to realize that they were there supporting their teammate. A few took a few jumps, but most of them were just there. Only one of the vaulters will be competing at CIF, but almost the whole squad was still at practice supporting him. They reminded me of something every so important, that being there for others is more important that being there just for yourself. As while it could have been a difficult practice, seeing so many athletes around, made me smile. As a friend suffered through a difficult time tonight, I found it easier to be there for her, as I thought of my athletes who were there for each other. I was reminded on how big of an impact just being present is and standing alongside someone, even if you don't say a single word. You cannot measure the impact that your presence will have on others and thus, be there for those who you hold close to your heart. It's never easy finding the words to say in response to a difficult situation or even as someone is preparing for a big event, yet don't let that deter you from providing support to a friend. A smile, a hug, or even just a message of concern can mean the world to that somebody. Today, I began my own little mission and I know that it will have its pitfalls. I only hope that along this journey that I have a cheering section like this to help lift me up when I have fallen and now, more than ever, I also want to be in that crowd to lift others up. As while we live in a world where competition often reigns supreme, it is in supporting each other where we will find our greatest victories. 

~:[CH6 - Day 128]:~ Best Friends

~:[CH6 - Day 128]:~ Best Friends

It's a little awkward, but we get to capture our bestie moments through the year. My week is never complete with out a stop at Jepsen's and despite his resistance, I know that deep down inside, he enjoys my visits and our selfies. Okay, maybe not. Regardless, I will continue to force him into these awkward selfies. Regardless, it's nice to have someone to chat with from time to time and a refreshing way to keep me going through an exhausting day. It may be for just a minute, but that amusing moment, as awkward as it might be, is a great jump starter to the day. I needed the energy as I rolled through our first day of CIF practice, which felt a little weird, but nice to have a mix of athletes from different areas represented. With someone from every grade level, it is quite the mix of athletes. Upon arriving home, however, exhaustion took over and I laid back, chatting with a friend before taking a quick nap. It let me clear my mind, relax and focus on what I needed to do for the rest of the evening. Nothing. In reality, there is a lot to do, but for today, I'll just let this awkward moment define the day. Everyday isn't filled with the glitz and glamour that others may have, but it doesn't mean that a moment such as this isn't treasured like any other moment you have. I guess that's what best friends are for, to make even the blandest of days memorable. 

~:[CH6 - Day 127]:~ The Gathering

~:[CH6 - Day 127]:~ The Gathering

There weren't huge crowds, but the celebration was just as sweet. It was awesome having a small get together on a Sunday with family. I often think that we could all be together even more, as we grew up and were practically inseparable. I went to school with my cousins who I grew up with, slept at another cousin's house almost all summer, and we've celebrated, gone on vacation and more. When going around the house today, it just made me happy, as family is life and if that's the case, then by the transitive property of geometry, life is good. My heart was so full of love that working the rest of the day was no big deal. I took down task after task, then got down to pictures, and finally finished a video for a friend. The last few projects I worked on filled my heart even more as it overflowed with love. As while times may be busy, there isn't a reason why you can't make time for those who you love so dearly. I was so touched and amazed by the response I received for the work I put it and it left me floating for the rest of the evening. It gave me the energy to finish planning my next trip and really got me excited for what's ahead. There are a lot of things to worry about in this world, but often times, it all becomes easier because of the foundation you build with love of friends and family. Today was a great example of that and I hope to not allow myself to forget that. 

[iglooSUNDAY - Blast from the Past #7]

I guess even back then I had strong quad muscles and wore short shorts! Happy belated birthday to my two cousins who terrorized me since I was small, but still showed that they loved me even until this day. I am grateful every day to have a cousin like you!

~:[CH6 - Day 126]:~ Sometime Life Takes You Away

~:[CH6 - Day 126]:~ Sometime Life Takes You Away

It was storming a bit on Saturday and with how busy I have been, I decided to sleep in. I took care of a few things in the morning, but focused on relaxing and trying to take everything in. It's weird how fast time passes. When you realize that the freshman you once had have now become seniors and the year that just began is now ending. Regardless, you stride forward and keep moving on. You roll with the punches and never give up.  You walk faster, hoping to keep up. You find a way to stay grounded, when life tries to take you away. There are so many lessons encapsulated in a year it's hard to think about how you can capture them all in a picture, but I think I may have today. Celebrating a big event with storm clouds in the sky, an umbrella to protect and people to keep you grounded, yet the thrill of taking the risk off the ground. The days of black and white mixed with those vivid memories that pop like shades of red, blue and green. Prom was an excellent day to reflect as I saw so many students who I share so many memories with move on into the final stages of their year. It's amazing to see how they've grown and enjoyable to watch them enjoy the evening. As usual, it was a beautiful venue and as I stood on the balcony overlooking to the site, I soaked it all in, as I got an opportunity to reflect on it all. I left a little early to meet up with a friend, but couldn't help but talk about all the memories of the evening. As I scrolled through photos from the day, I saw the impending storm try to ruin the day, but the smiles could not be defeated, as life was the winner of today's battle. 

~:[CH6 - Day 125]:~ Never Worry About Never Being Perfect

~:[CH6 - Day 125]:~ Never Worry About Never Being Perfect

It wasn't a perfect day, but who really cares? Almost everything in life doesn't go perfectly, but that is what makes life exciting - the unpredictability. If we knew how everything would play out, then life would be boring, even though we'd get what we wanted. Well you might say, but I work hard to try to perfect it, but so do many others. I'm always sad when things don't work out, but am also glad to see the effort that is put in until the end. While you want to talk to and console every athlete who doesn't reach their goal or doesn't perfect their race, you also have to realize that they're going to be okay because now they're just going to work harder to perfect it next time. That motivation and determination is something that we all need, as while we are not perfect, we need to keep striving to improve, to fix what we didn't perfect and try again tomorrow. Today, you may push your limits and fall short of your best mark of the season, but tomorrow you may trail and find that one last burst of energy that will take you past the competition. Tonight, we had a combination of both and still yet, it couldn't have been more perfect. As while I wish things could have panned out better in some races, I was perfectly glad to sit back and watch these athletes learn and grow as they continue to learn about themselves. They've got a long way to go, but have already come so far so soon.

~:[CH6 - Day 124]:~ Never Ending

~:[CH6 - Day 124]:~ Never Ending

It's never truly the end. Every time you reach a point where you find yourself at an ending, it springboards into a new beginning. Our end is just the beginning of something greater. As you think back at the "last time," you'll only realize that it will be the reason for the start of so many good things moving forward. Much like a plant, our ending today, will plant the seeds for our new beginnings tomorrow. While the end of the league season for track and field is wrapping up and we brought it in for the last time, today is not the end. We bid farewell to seniors and at this time next year, we will find ourselves with an entirely different group, however, that does not mean we've reach an end. The alumni of this program will forever exist and their legacies will be carried by those who follow them. They will be forever impacted and pass on the many lessons learned, beginning the building process, instead of reaching completion. Just like our lives, even after our last breath, we will pass on something that will last beyond our time on this earth. It is true that things will never be exactly as they were before, but regardless of that, it doesn't mean we will ever truly reach and end. If we approach life right and do things in a certain way, we can live forever through the impact we have through the seeds we lay as we move through life. Being a coach of track & field and cross country, the finish line has always been something we've focused around, however, the race isn't done when we cross that line, as it is our stepping stone to something greater and in us all, we have something greater. Today, I say goodbye to some incredible athletes who I will miss, but I will be able to witness their seeds grow and see just how their efforts grow into something greater year after year. They say a rich man cannot carry with him all the material items he possesses, thus, sometimes the richest men, have no money at all, as they sowed their seeds in hopes that their wealth will be displayed in all the growth they help produce around them, years after they depart from this earth. 

~:[CH6 - Day 123]:~ Cure to the Pain

~:[CH6 - Day 123]:~ Cure to the Pain

As we head into the final days of the regular season, we began the process of getting ourselves ready for what's ahead. I am not sure it was coincidence that this preparation was seamlessly integrated with my own attempts to cure the pain that seeped into my own life. Just like in race preparation, we find a way to rid ourselves of the pain. Sometimes that method is a bit painful, but in the long run, we find the comforts of painlessness over time. I think one of the hardest things in life is trying to figure out how to tackle the pain you face. Many give up, but others they battle until their very last day. Through my own hardships, I've relied on the support of so many people who always come out of the shadows when you need them most. It's amazing to have people like that. Many times, people have those who are there when they need something, but I realize more and more each day, that I am surrounded by selfless and caring people, as so many have reached out to me, even if it has been some time since we last spoke. To all of you, I thank you. I also have had the outlet of writing to cure much of the pain I have been feeling. Writing allows me to express myself, but has also forced me to think so thoroughly about things, especially when times are the toughest. There is no one quick fix for me or anyone for that matter, but each and everyone of us must find those things that will be the cure to our pain. There are no situations that are hopeless and no pain too much to endure. You can do it and keep the faith that you will make it out of this as a better person. For all those who struggle with pain, know that you're never alone and as hopeless as a situation may seem, there's always a cure.

~:[CH6 - Day 122]:~ Making a Splash

~:[CH6 - Day 122]:~ Making a Splash

I knew today wouldn't be the easiest day in the world, but the support of my friends and family around me was helpful and I am forever indebted to you for your thoughts and prayers. As I said my final farewell this morning, it was a bit surreal. Her body had become stuff because of rigor mortis and so it was hard to move her. Of course, it also caused her to be in a position that helped me remember her when she often slept and ran through her dreams. As she left for the final time, I said goodbye. I sluggishly rolled through the morning and tried to get my game face on for the meet in the afternoon. There was so much work to do, that it did help me take my mind off things and just being around the athletes, helped a lot. I became focused on the event and it ended up being a pretty good day. Our athletes did what they needed to do to qualify and while there were a few moments where I was sad that things didn't pan out as I had hoped, overall, I couldn't complain about the outcome. It was nice to wander around and be able to watch the various events and catch a glimpse of all the great performances we had on the day. We gathered for a meal after all was said and done and as my mind wandered through the last 24 hours, I smiled as I was surrounded by a group of people who made today a lot easier to handle. Life is difficult and there will be many more moments like these, but it's people like this that really help you see the light at the end of the tunnel as while darkness will exist in our life, it will never last forever. 

~:[CH6 - Day 121]:~ A Dear and Loyal Friend Until the End

~:[CH6 - Day 121]:~ A Dear and Loyal Friend Until the End

This morning, I didn't think much about the picture I took of JD when she was sleeping, but who knew it would be the last picture I took of her while she was alive. I guess sometimes we forget that the most loyal thing we have in our life is the one who is always by our side. That is a true description of my baby, JD. She looks nothing like she did when we first got her. We were told she was one type of dog, but figured out she was probably a Jindo and German Shephard Mix. We mistook her for a boy and called her Jack Daniels because of her color, but quickly realized she was a girl and shortened her name to JD. She was the most protective dog I have ever had, but also one of the most loyal. Maybe it was because I spent the day with the day with her after practice since she would cry if we would leave her alone. Around the clock, we'd tend to her while she was young. She wasn't the friendliest of dogs and viciously barked at those who dared step foot into our house or backyard, but in reality, she was gentle and loving. She would get up in the morning just to say goodbye and wait for me when I got home to welcome me back. I vividly remember that after I got pneumonia and was in the hospital for a week, that she seemed even more present around me, making sure that I was doing alright. You get that sense with a dog. They have your back through the thick and the thin and you know just how loyal they are, even when you don't give as much attention to them as you should. Seeing her get sick was one of the toughest things for me, as when I got home, she wouldn't be there and going to see her, was tough because I never knew when she would be gone. Every one of my pets passed away when I was out of town, however, I guess it was fitting that JD passed with me and my parents by her side. I'm not sure what made me take the photo this morning, but when I look back at it, she looks angelic. Every living being has their time and while it is tough to accept the fact that something you've loved for so long is gone, you should also be appreciative of all the wonderful memories that you had together. As I look back at the collage of photos I collected, which were only a few of the hundreds I have taken. it brought back fond memories of my baby girl. I don't often get too emotional, but tonight, I have been shedding a tear for every wonderful memory I have of this loyal dog and seeing that she has welcomed me home almost every day, I may be crying for an eternity. The wounds will slowly heal and the pain will fade away, but the joy in my heart from all the memories I have had with JD will never go away. Your friends and family are dependable and love you through and through, but never forget that while they may never say a word, your dog is one of the most loyal of companions you'll find in your lifetime. To my baby girl, I hope you enjoy the endless fields in which you can run and hope that you can at least get along with one other dog up there in heaven. I will dearly miss you, but know that my house will ever be protected by you, as even in your physical absence, your loyalty with never fade. RIP JD ... July 3, 2003 - May 1, 2017.

[iglooSUNDAY - Blast from the Past #6]

The memories are forever etched into my heart. RIP my baby girl.