Peace & Transquility

This type of day provides me with the peace and traquility I hope for in a day.

I think it provides me with a good time for reflection and an opportunity to see how my day/week/month actually went without any triggers that may cause me to analyze my time out of emotion rather than pure analysis.

Michael Ogah wrote, "Love is not a figment of our imagination, rather it's a figment of our reality that we choose to suppress. Don't hide it; show it!"

I think that at times, this can be the truth. Often times, I find myself storing away my true feelings, not just love, within myself. Feelings that I want to share often are not either because I want to avoid making a situation awkward, because I want avoid mistakes of the past or just because I'm afraid to.

Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, "It's better to love and lost than to never have loved at all." I can understand where he is coming from in the idea that how much on a high you feel when you truly give yourself to someone is incredible, however, the feeling when you have lost it, especially when years together crumble in a matter of days, is the most awful feeling in the world and it keeps revisiting when you least need it to.

I think Tennyson's quote is more applicable to those who have had a full life together with decades of time together sharing memories, sharing families and sharing lives. In my case, it felt like I was cheated out of the years ahead at no fault of either of us, just the winds of fate.

I'm always hopeful that maybe things have not come full circle, yet, eventually the train at the crossing will end and I will have to move on, otherwise, there will be a crowd of people upset behind me waiting for me to move out of their way. While I drag my feet, I can say, as I promised before, I will make that effort to move out of the shadows and push forward to show my feelings more than not when the times are appropriate.

the train is ending
it's almost time to go
a few parting words
that i want you to know

you've shown me the truth
you've shown me the light
you've shown me grandiose
and the wrong from the right

you've helped me understand
who I truly am inside
you took me on a journey
oh, what a great ride!

yet, the barriers are opening
the train so far away
and I think time's moving forward
so I must move out of the way

the memories of past
although aged yet not fading
had kept me around
just standing around, waiting

yet i realized that the train departing
in the distance, never to return
although the love i had for you
continues to burn

so after years of maintaining
the flame burning within
i shall put out the light
letting a new chapter begin

a magnetism towards the tracks
yet i must venture on
to find new adventures
that can generate a new song

a beat that will be heard
that can create a new spark
to reignite the flame within me
that is currently so dark

so as i leave i say goodbye
it is adieu not a day more
as i've got a great land
ahead to explore

yet you'll always be a piece of me
always within my heart
i tuck it away and prepare
for my new journey to start

jason
6/28/09, 5:43am