who am i?

i went to new york this past weekend and while i was there i visited the m&m factory store in times square. while in there, i ventured to the m&m "determine what mood you are in" machine that tells you what m&m you are most like. the people before me got great colors ... pink, teal, and yellow. however, when i stepped up to the plate, not only did i get questions ... in the end, the machine had declared me a ... crispy rainbow m&m?!?!?! #@&*#! what? ... not only did this moment leave me at a loss for words, i was left standing at a crossroads wondering what was ahead for me. choosing to sit down, i placed both elbows on my knees with my face in my palm ... simply in shock from being referred to as someone with the mood of a crispy rainbow m&m.

i mean ... i know i am a different because i am such a beautiful and stunning guy with wonderful hair that turns heads and breaks heart (for those that do not know me, please be sure that you are hearing the sarcasm at this point) ... *cuing the sarcasm* ... however, a crispy rainbow m&m?!?!? do those even exist? so does that mean i don't even exist? is it good that i am original? or bad that i am off-the-wall?

like most guys, one of my goals in life is to find that companion who compliments me the best. well in my search for the perfect woman, i may have just figured out why the quest has been so difficult. do i even know who i am? if that's the case, how can i find my perfect companion if i don't even know who i am?!?! am i spirited or simply boring? am i extreme or extremely reserved? am i athletic? or simply fat? am i intelligent or dumb like a rock? am i open or do i close people off? do i appeal to people or do i turn them off? am i a romantic or do i just play one on tv? so many questions and absolute zero answers, except for, i am like a crispy rainbow m&m.

i guess the world is filled with so many perplexing questions such as why the earth is round? how do birds know when to migrate? what is the secret to reaching her soul? and now, why am i like a crispy rainbow m&m?

please, no answers to this, i already know you my friends and the types of crazy, offending, and ridiculous responses you would think of. just think ... a crispy rainbow m&m, really??

until another day ...