~:[CH9 - Day 168]:~ For All We Lost

~:[CH9 - Day 168]:~ For All We Lost

Right about now, I could be working on a collaboration in Korea or Japan, but I am behind my computer at home and sometime on a Zoom call super late at night, trying to coordinate what we can do virtually. Amazingly, I was able to complete one video so far with two on the way and I've also done over 20 images. Of course, as much as I've done, I've lost a lot along the way and it is in what I loss that I find a lack of motivation and a search for a path ahead. To have the break the news that I wouldn't be taking any students to Mammoth for the first time in a long while or to hear about the loss of someone close, it's painful and with each passing of painful news, another thorn gets stuck in my side. It's easy to throw your hands up and give up, but I've continued to use this time to see what's possible, to examine myself, and to speak up when my voice is needed. I hate to pass on things that are negative, but I also can't silence myself on matters that are of great importance. Of course, ALL of us have lost something during this time, but let's be sure that we don't lose ourselves in the process. We must fight and voice our opinions when things are wrong, but we also must understand the situation we're in, knowing that some of the comforts we were used to may no longer be. The fact of the matter is we're going to lose something, but let's make sure we don't lose more than we need to. As I sat here and focused in on finishing this piece, I smiled just a bit knowing that I was happy how it turned out. As while I much rather be on site in a photo studio or working in an office, I'm at least glad that I didn't lose it all and more importantly, I haven't lost myself.